CHALLENGES OF ADOPTING A TODDLER

The special challenges of adopting a toddler -radio
Posted by: Dawn Davenport at cahawelea@yahoo.com

Hi everyone. On this Wednesday's internet radio show I will interview
Mary Hopkins-Best, author of Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft. We
will discuss the special challenges and rewards of adopting a child
between 12 and 36 months, including how to help you child transition
into your home, attachment ideas for this age, and behavior management
techniques that work for newly adopted toddlers. Listen and call in if
you are expecting a child this age, have just adopted one, or can
offer the been-there-done-that perspective.

You can listen to the show live from 12:00 to 1:00 Eastern Time at
www.findingyourchild.com (click on radio page, then click play) or
through the radio station website at blogtalkradio.com. Call-in with
your questions at (347) 215-8510. If you will not be able to call-in
during the show, you can send questions you want us to address to
dawn@findingyourchild.com. I really want to get the word out about
this show since so many kids are being adopted at this age now.
Please feel free to pass this information on to others who may be
interested.

The show will be available after it airs either by listening to the
archives at www.findingyourchild.com or downloading it for free
podcast from iTunes.

Dawn Davenport

OCA SCHOLARSHIP APPS AVAILABLE

Press Release: 2008 OCA Scholarship Applications Now Available

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
8 January 2008

Contact:
Douglas Lee | Senior Program Manager
202 223 5500 | dlee@ocanational.org 


2008 OCA Scholarship Applications Now Available

Washington, DC—OCA is pleased to announce that applications for the 2008 OCA
Scholarship Program are now available online. Up to sixty $2000 scholarships
will be awarded to incoming Asian Pacific Islander American (APIA) college
freshmen for the 2008-2009 academic school year.   OCA recognizes that
scholarships and financial aid play an essential role in helping students
achieve a college education.

"OCA is dedicated to education in the APIA community," said OCA National
President Ginny Gong. "We recognize the need to provide opportunities for
students who do not have access to the financial resources necessary to
pursue higher education."

Although the average level of education for the APIA community is higher
than the national average, the statistics are misleading. While there are
many members of the APIA community who have advanced degrees, there are also
countless others who are unable to attend college due to financial reasons.
Through its many scholarships, OCA strives to achieve its goals of promoting
civic participation, education, and leadership.

“For the 2008 OCA Scholarship Program, OCA offers a variety of scholarships
to economically disadvantaged APIAs. OCA offers scholarships for students
who can demonstrate financial need, high achievement, and for those who are
the first member in their family to attend college in the United States,”
said OCA Executive Director Michael Lin.

For more information on OCA’s scholarship programs and an application,
students may go to OCA’s website at www.ocanational.org. The deadline for
applying to the 2008 OCA Scholarship Programs is April 18, 2008

###
Founded in 1973 as the Organization of Chinese Americans, OCA is a national
organization dedicated to advancing the social, political and economic
well-being of Asian Pacific Americans.
Link:
http://www.ocanational.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=396&Ite 
mid=104
Email sent to: jerifloyd@ca.rr.com 
OCA1322 18th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20036
Tel: 202-223-5500 Fax: 202-296-0540
Web: http://www.ocanational.org 
E-mail: oca@ocanational.org 

ADOPTION ALERT!

forwarded by Leigh Giusti at leighmcarthurgiusti@gmail.com
Friday, January 11, 2008
China and HIV adoption -help spread the word!!!
Please contact Erin at erin@adoptionadvocates.org if interested in this
situation

Passing on this message from another board:
Hi all, Sorry for the off topic post, but I know lots of people read this list
and I need to get the word out.

I was recently hired by Adoption Advocates International (AAI) to be their HIV
adoption coordinator. We are placing kids from Ethiopia and have our first
referrals from Thailand of HIV+ children as well.

This week AAI staff has been in China, and we are being given the wonderful
opportunity to facilitate the adoption of an HIV+ child from China, and
hopefully start a program where HIV+ children are regularly placed (which would
be new to China). There was a big meeting and basically those who are in charge
of the orphans in China had no idea that HIV+ children could be treated with
medication and be basically healthy. They had no idea that these kids could live
long, full lives. They had no idea that HIV was not spread through casual
contact, etc.

After some education and explanation, and the AAI staff sharing how over 20 HIV+
kids have now been adopted from Ethiopia, the people in charge in China agreed
to "try it". They gave us the referral of one child, a 20 month old little girl.
She is very beautiful and seems to be doing well, although is small for her age.
She is developmentally normal and has not been showing any signs of illness.
From what we know there are no ARV's available for Chinese orphans, so getting
her home quickly will be important.

We would love to get the word out about this little girl so we can try and find
her a home. If we can find a home for her quickly and show the Chinese officials
that there are parents who will adopt these children, it could very well open
the door for many more HIV+ Chinese orphans to be placed in loving homes in the
US instead of dieing in orphanages.

China has been flexible in the past with its guidelines for special needs kids
and we believe that they will be flexible for parents adopting HIV+ kids,
however for the first case we want a family that meets the guidelines (or is
very close) so it isn't a "stretch". The guidelines are:

- parents between the ages of 30-55
- married for two years
- income of at least $10,000 a year per family member and net worth of $80,000
- no more than four (maybe five) children in the home

Please feel free to spread this information around anywhere you see fit,
especially if any of you have connections with the China adoption community.

Also please share my work contact info with anyone interested, which is
erin@adoptionadvocates.org and 307 248 0530

Erin Mom to 11 wonderful kids, including three blessings from Ethiopia HIV
adoption coordinator for Adoption Advocates International
http://fullhousefullhandsfullhearts.blogspot.com

Adoption Advocates International (AAI)
709 South Peabody
Port Angeles, WA 98362
Phone: 360-452-4777
General information: info@adoptionadvocates.org

China vigorously reinforcing it's one-child policy

You can find the rest of the article here:

www.shanghaidaily.com/sp/article/2008/200801/20080107/article_344245.htm

Hubei punishes 500 people for defying one child policy
Mon Jan 7, 2008 4:05 am (PST)

Hubei Province, in central China, has expelled 500 people from the
Communist Party for defying the "one-child" family planning policy.

Last year, the province found 93,084 people had additional children in
violation of the policy, including 1,678 officials or Party members.

Also identified were seven national and local lawmakers or political
advisers. They lost their political status. Another 395 offenders were
dismissed from their posts.

More party members, celebrities, and well-off people are violating the
policies in recent years, which has undermined social equality. A number
of cases involving celebrities or officials were still being
investigated and the individuals would be identified once their
situation was verified.

Hubei Province has approved a regulation to shore up family planning
efforts. Under this rule, offenders are barred from government
employment for three years, and cannot hold elective office or be
political advisers.

Thoughts on "Juno"

"Juno", a movie about teen pregnancy, has been getting a great many reactions in the adoption community. Here is an article:

http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/newssun/lifestyles/713233,3_5_EL27_TEENMOMS_S1.article

FCC'ers especially have been dissatisfied with the movie, due to a couple of insensitive "jokes" regarding Chinese adoptions. We'd like to hear from any of you who have taken your daughters to see it - write us a commentary; tell your friends in FCC what you think.

I'm going to be posting articles of interest to adoptive families. I think I'll start by passing along both a blog entry by Brian Stuy (who runs Research-China.org) and providing a link so that everyone can take a look at all his posts, current and past. If anyone has an article wishes to write for our site, please contact me with your post and I'll make sure it is included.

There is also a place for commentary here: Please feel free to make your views and feelings known! Dialog is good for us FCC'ers.
Again, Welcome! May all you FCC families make yourselves "to home"... ________________________________________________________________________

Saturday, December 08, 2007
Searching For Birthparents -- How Can It Be Done


This blog article is comprised of three segments. The first is an article entitled "Public and Private Finding Locations: The Clues Each Contains." I wrote the article for the current issue of "China Connection: A Journal for New England Families Who Have Adopted Children From China" (December 2007, pp. 21-22).

The second segment is also from the current issue of "China Connection" (p. 23), and describes the legal ramifications for birth parents to come forward in China. Can they be prosecuted? Would fear of prosecution keep them from coming forward if adoptive families searched? This segment addresses those questions.

The third segment are my answers to common questions posed by adoptive families contemplating a search for their child's birth family. Should it be done? Who should do it? How can it be done? The answers to these questions are obviously personal on some level, and I don't advocate a single answer to any of them.

------------------------------

In my six years of researching what happens to children who are abandoned in China, I have been asked many times for help in locating birth parents of adopted children. Many methods have been tried, some successfully and others not. Based on my experiences, I am passing along some information that could be useful in locating members of a child’s birth family in China, if this is something adoptive parents and their child want to pursue.

Finding locations for children can be categorized into two main types: Public and “private” locations. Hospitals, orphanage gates, police stations, and schools fall into the arena of public finding places, and the vast majority of children adopted from China have been found there. Generally, public finding locations provide little guidance in locating birth parents because no direct thread leads from the location to the birth family. Though my research gives me good reason to believe that most babies are left close to where they were born, identifying a birth parent with only this clue is like walking into a Wal-Mart seeking information about your neighbor’s child. The chance of finding someone who knows anything of real value is very, very small – but not impossible.

Some public locations are more likely than others to provide threads of information. For example, when a baby is found at a hospital, a paper trail might exist. A hospital might have birth records detailing the names and address of those who gave birth there.

Sometimes, finding out information about the person who found the baby – and the name of the “finder” is often available in orphanage records – can provide additional clues. Frequently it turns out that children who were reported as being found at a government office or at an orphanage were not actually “left” there but they were “brought” there from another area.

With one child whose “finding place” I researched, this turned out to be the case. In her adoption papers, she was listed as being found at a village Residential Committee office, a not uncommon finding location. When I visited that location and asked people in the village about this child, several remembered her being “found” but told us the child had been found by a family in the village. My wife and I were then taken to talk with that husband and wife, and they confirmed that they knew this child’s birth parents. This is an example of how gathering a few clues and doing a little digging, even in the face of overwhelming odds, can result in birth parents being located.

Another consideration is the population of the area where a child was found. One of my daughters, for example, was found in the middle of the city of Guangzhou. This made a search for her birth parents all but impossible. Another of my daughters was found in the small town of DianBai in western Guangdong Province. In her case, it would be possible to conduct a search for her birth parents by printing a few thousand fliers, and distributing them for a week at the town market. Since nearly every woman in China visits a local market every few days, markets are very good ”search centers.” At such a location, fliers can be distributed in the hopes of locating a birth parent.

Private Finding Locations
Sometimes a child’s finding location is not in a public area but instead happens in a “private” place. These places are owned or controlled by individuals or families, such as residences or farms, family-run stores or restaurants, and they are usually chosen because the birth family knows the owner. Sometimes such a location is selected because the family who lives there is having trouble giving birth to a child and it is felt that giving this family a child will help them to conceive. Other times the “finder” might be chosen because they have a son and it is believed they might also like to have a daughter. Another consideration is whether a family is considered well-off and thus able to afford the fee to register the child with the local government.

At private finding locations, often clues are available to assist in birth parent searches. (Many children who are left at “private” locations do end up being placed in an orphanage and are adopted internationally.) In one Jiangxi orphanage we researched, birth parents were known by three quarters of the finders at the private residences and stores we visited. As we spoke with them, it became obvious that these locations were carefully considered by the birth parents; each “finder” had particular qualities that made them attractive as adoptive parents.

Contacting Birth Families
Adoptive families are cautioned, however, against believing that all birth parents will express an interest in making contact with their abandoned child. In my experience the majority of birth families have shown no interest in revisiting their abandonment history by making contact with adoptive families. Even when I’ve provided photos and phone numbers, a majority of them have refused the information.

What I’ve learned in these encounters makes me wary of the “opportunities” for reunion that DNA matching appears to offer. Although adoptive parents and their children might decide to pursue a search for birth parents by registering with a DNA database, I believe there will be significant cultural and personal hurdles in China that will discourage birth parents from participating. These barriers – which I think will preclude large numbers of birth parents from participating in DNA databases – include the fear of governmental reprisal (though this fear seems largely unfounded), financial considerations, and a cultural proclivity to ”look forward, not backward.”

In summary, locating birth parents in China is possible if the circumstances are right. Private finding locations such as residences and small stores have a high degree of success. Finding locations in small villages also bring a good degree of success. Seeking local hospital records might provide information, but these inquiries must be made quickly before records are archived or destroyed. But adoptive families must also remember that even when the search proves successful, the birth parents might leave the discovered door closed and locked, unwilling to allow the connection to be made.

Risks -- Perceived and Real for Birth Parents in China
One might wonder if birth parents face any risk by publicly coming forward and looking for their abandoned child – or being contacted by a family searching for them. Although the idea of a five-year statute of limitations has been discussed among the adoption community for abandoning a child, this concept is not specifically found in Chinese criminal law regarding abandonment. The 1992 “Law of the People’s Republic of China on the Protection of Rights and Interests of Women” states that “drowning, abandoning or cruel infanticide in any manner of female babies is prohibited,” but assigns no penalty. Article 261 of the Criminal Code states “A person who refuses his proper duty to support an aged person, minor, sick person or any other person who can not live independently shall be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not more than five years, criminal detention or public surveillance if the circumstance is flagrant.” Thus, infant abandonment might be classified as a criminal act, which could result in a prison term of up to five years if convicted, but it is not clearly stated.

“There are legal provisions requiring parents to rear and educate their children and prohibiting the maltreatment or abandonment of children. Nevertheless, the Penal Code fails to provide clear definitions, so that in practice it is difficult to mete out punishment to parents who dump their babies,” He Jialin of the Sichuan Hetai Law Firm stated in a 2005 article entitled “Facing the Reality: Baby Dumping.” In practical terms, the maximum penalty typically faced by birth parents for abandoning their child is the fine that would have been imposed had they registered their child. In other words, there is rarely an additional penalty for the act of abandonment.

Chinese law discusses statute of limitations in relation to the imprisonment lengths imposed for various crimes. “The law says that the statute of limitation for crimes carrying a maximum penalty of no more than five years’ imprisonment is five years; 10 years for crimes that attract imprisonment of more than five years but less than 10; and 15 years for crimes carrying a maximum penalty of 10 years or more” Since infant abandonment could be classified as a violation of Article 261 of the Criminal Code, it can be assumed that the statute of limitations for abandonment would be five years.

All of this relates only to legal requirements and definitions, which are rarely absorbed by the average Chinese citizen. In practical terms, a family’s fear of government reprisal is perhaps the strongest disincentive for birth parents to come forward at any time. Even if the five-year statute of limitations were widely known and understood (which it isn’t), the vast majority of birth parents would not trust the government to respect those provisions.

What is widely believed by the vast majority of Chinese, however, is that the police are reticent to search for, let alone charge, birth parents with abandoning a child. “When female infants are murdered or abandoned by parents or family relatives, law enforcement and civil services agencies hardly ever conduct any investigation to go after the perpetrators because many of local police and officials still believe that it is parents’ right to decide whatever they want to do with their children and killing one’s newborn child is a family/domestic matter not a crime,” observed Xin Ren, a professor of criminal justice at California State University in Sacramento in an article she wrote, “Protecting Women and Children Against Trafficking in China.”

Given this understanding, children are confidently left in hospitals, in front of a neighbor’s home or police station, or in a park with parents knowing that the risk of detection and prosecution is very low. But few birth families would openly reveal their crime by coming forward in a public way. Thus, infant abandonment is in the vast majority of cases a “don't ask, don't tell” situation in China.

Questions & Answers to Searching for Birth Parents

Q: Isn't searching for birth parents the prerogative of my adopted child? Is it my right to search for her history?

Searching for your child's birth parents doesn't require notifying your child that you have found them. In our case, we intend to keep the information private until the day when our daughter does ask about it. But given the dramatic changes occurring in China, waiting for 15-20 years before searching almost guarantees failure down the road. Control of the contact is as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. You can write yearly letters without letting your child know anything about it.

As parents, it is our responsibility to provide any information we can to assist our children to gain a full understanding of their history and origins. Whether our children ever draw on that information is up to them, but we must be prepared. To avoid or relegate responsibility to search for her birth parents until she is old enough to want to search herself will ultimately mean that information will not be obtainable. Individuals die and families move. How would any of us feel if we were faced with the question, "If you could have found them, why didn't you?" In my mind, it is much better to have information my children never ask for, than to not obtain information that I am one day asked about.

Q: I am afraid of opening a Pandora's box by locating the birth parents for my child. What if they want more contact than I am comfortable giving?

Again, the control will be yours. At first, you might consider all communication take place through an intermediary such as your agency or a family friend. This eliminates any chance the birth family will initiate contact that you are not comfortable with. Additionally, you are under no moral or ethical obligation to provide financial resources to the birth family. What you offer and provide is completely up to you.

Q: Isn't it illegal to put up signs and make searches for birth parents in China? Won't I get in trouble?

In doing birth family searches many times, I have never had any resistance from Chinese Government officials. The Chinese government is not anxious for these contacts to be made, but is fairly powerless to prevent them. If families are misguided into thinking that contact will be possible through official or governmental avenues, they will miss valuable time and opportunities. The Chinese government will never sanction such contact, for the simple reason that they do not want to encourage the knowledge that abandoned children are adopted internationally.

Q: Should I use an organization "registered" in China to make a search?

While organizations that conduct heritage tours and other in-country experiences serve an important service, their ability to gain cooperation from orphanages and the CCAA requires that they don't breach the established rules and requirements of the Chinese government. For that reason, these organizations may discourage families from conducting searches out of fear that it will result in retaliation from the Chinese authorities. The same applies to adoption agencies. Thus, the adoptive family will usually have to act independent of official channels and organizations to conduct birth parent searches.

Q: What are some other methods that can be employed to search for birth parents?

Aside from contacting individuals who might have knowledge of the birth parents (finders, orphanage staff, and foster families), other ideas include distributing leaflets in the neighborhood surrounding the finding location or at local markets. These leaflets should be general in nature, listing no personal information about the adoptive family or the child. Contact information might include an e-mail address or in-country cellphone number. This method will result in many fruitless contacts (birth parents of other adopted children), but reduce the impulse of someone to come forward pretending to be your child's birth parents. This method also has the benefit of keeping control of the communication lines with the adoptive family.

Placing "Birth Family Search" ads in newspapers is also a common strategy, but generally inefficient. There is little certainty that a birth family will read the newspaper chosen for the ad, and the most widely-read newspapers are those covering wide geographical areas. It is, however, another option. One downside to the ads is that most newspapers require the advertiser to submit and pay for the ad in person, requiring a contact in the area.

Ultimately, it is up to each adoptive family to decide if they should search for their child's birth parents. Personally, I am anxious to obtain as much information regarding my child's life-history as possible. I would like to know why they were abandoned, what their birth families look like, are there siblings, etc. I want to know this so that when my children ask these questions, I can provide definitive information, not broad generalities and suppositions.

But any contact made would be on my terms, with my sanction and approval. After having my questions answered, I would find a level of communication that I was comfortable with. I would not tell my children we had located their birth parents unless they asked me to help locate their birth parents. At that point, I would decide if the time was appropriate to tell my daughter that we in fact knew her birth family. In this way, control of her history remains with my daughter.

Welcome to FCC Kalamazoo!

This is the place to go for information on events and articles during the year.

FEBRUARY 8, 6:00PM : MEETING - Come help us plan out our activities for 2008! We want to hear from everyone! Place: Panera's on Westnedge (Milham intersection) at 6:00 pm.

February 1, 2008:: Jungle Joes - Friday, February 1, 6 -7:30PM. $6.00 for kids, $2.00 for accompanying adult (if you're playing!)

February 22nd: Friday, Feb. 22nd. Young Chef's Academy - 6:00 - 8:30 PM. Learn to make a Chinese Dish! Kids 8 and up. $15 in advance. Class size is limited, so get your checks in quickly - first come, first serve. (Don't worry - if we get lots of interest, we'll just schedule another one, quick, so sign up anyway!) Send checks made out to FCCK/B to: Ruby Kapture, 1612 Applecroft Avenue, Portage, MI 49002

February 9th: Don't forget! CAGK is hosting their big New Year's event at Loy Norrix. Don't forget to check out their website at http://www.cagk.co.